New Barbie doll supports democracy abroad

by Aleister
Published: Monday, November 14th, 2005

EL SEGUNDO, CA, November 14, 2005 - International toy giant Mattel announced toys for the 2005 Christmas season at a press conference earlier today. Although many of the products were unremarkable, keeping in line with the company's traditional mainstays in the realm of trucks, action figures, and body waxing kits, one toy in particular, designed to drum up patriotism at home and abroad, is instead prompting questions as to Mattel's commitment to social responsibility.

Iraqi Democracy Barbie comes packaged with two different colored abaya robes, with matching shawls and burqa, or facial coverings. These outfits are purely decorative; the doll's clothing is attached and cannot be changed, as that would enable impressionable children to see an unrealistic version of the nude female form. Iraqi Democracy Barbie comes in three different skin tones to reflect the vast ethnic diversity of the Iraqi population: Brown, Not-so-brown, and I've-spent-my-entire-life-indoors-someone-help-me-brown. Not the first in the Barbie toy line to talk, at the push of a button concealed beneath her robes, Iraqi Democracy Barbie spouts patriotic phrases, such as, "Dinner will be ready soon," "Incoming!" and "Voting is for men only."

Objections have come from parents who are concerned that the doll's armaments may be too realistic. In order to combat the insurgency, so that her husband can safely arrive at the polls, Barbie is equipped with a pair of M16 assault rifles and color-coordinated ammo belts that are scale replicas of those used by the American and nascent Iraqi militaries. Parents fear that early exposure to realistic toy weaponry may prompt their children to join the military under false identities, and may pose a choking hazard.

Mary Holtz, whose daughter Alice, aged 4, was killed last year in the battle for Fallujah, is spearheading the movement to prevent these toys from hitting shelves. "My daughter ran away to join the Marines because of the availablility of realistic toy guns that are painted bright orange and green, exactly as they are in real life. I'm trying to prevent this from happening to other children, and I refuse to let the fact that I've never seen an actual gun in my life stop me."

When asked for a response to the objections, a spokesperson from Mattel said, "Barbie is willing to die for her country, you Bolshevik coward. Are you?" Bob Eckart, the company's CEO, added, "Barbie's doing her part so we don't have to. Jesus, I'm glad I'm not over there."